We have all heard that sex and money are the two biggest challenges a marriage will face. Dave Ramsey says that the number one cause of divorce in North America today results from financial difficulties. And Jesus in Matthew 19 gave a prescription for divorce that only death could match, sexual immorality. We must always work as one to combat any and every attack that may raise itself up against our “one flesh” marriage. We will review both of these marriage killers and how you can protect your marriage from its biggest threats. We will start by looking into our financial behaviors and practices.
At the top of the list, a strong marriage begins with being on the “same page.” What does this kind of strength look like being on the same page? Well, it started when you said “I do” and it will only end when one of you departs this life for the next. This is the commitment you went into right? If this is not what you signed up for, then what did you think you were getting into? Marriage is two becoming one. Two learning and growing as one, molded into an unstoppable United Front.
7 The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower is the slave of the lender.
Sitting down together and discussing life should become second nature for the married couple. If not, now is the time to begin a new habit, together working through the finances. Writing down all the cash that flows through the account each and every month. This is a very important first step in controlling your finances so you can tell your money where to go. Next, list all your debts using the debt snowball. The smallest debts first and ending with the biggest debt. The money that is left goes into the budget for fuel, food, entertainment, gifts etc. This is the framework for your new monthly budget. Now you throw all the left over money at the debt, agreeing never to be in debt again.
If you don’t even have enough money or room to breathe, one of you or both have to ramp up the overtime or get a second job. Remember this won’t be forever but you have to get out of living pay check to pay check. I recommend you follow Dave Ramsey’s 7 baby steps, use the Every Dollar budgeting tool, and download a checkbook app to your smartphone (if you are tech savvy). With the every dollar app, you and your spouse can log in to the same account from your smartphone. A great way to be on the same page with the budget.
Secondly, sex seems like a topic no one wants to talk about but we must! Not only for the health and well-being of our marriages but for teaching our youth the truth of God’s design.
7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
In verse 9 we see sexual immorality as a reason for divorce because it destroy’s the “one flesh” marital union. Those that commit sexual immorality have become “one” with someone other than their spouse, destroying what God “has brought together” (Matthew 19:6). Sexual immorality has only one equal, death, where the union is “broken” due to the loss of a loved one. But God’s original design for marriage is, the couple together for life, forever! “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19;6).
Working together with the finances and through sexual immoral issues in your marriage is the best way to create a healthy and powerful marriage. You can make it! Even if sexual immorality has been a major issue in the marriage. You can make it! Even if you have filed bankruptcy! Don’t give up! We know it can be done because we have made it through both! Together, stronger, with more unity, more love, and more determination to motivate you and your spouse to a greater height of love never thought possible in your marriage!
Author: Erick Hurt
From a slave to sin–to freedom in Christ (Galatians 5:1). From an abusive husband verbally and physically–to loving my wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Now an Elder at Family Bible Church, I speak, teach, and preach with the same passion I once had for sin. I work as a volunteer for Setting Captives Free ministry as a mentor and mentor coordinator helping people become freed from the grip of sin. Visit www.settingcaptivesfree.com.