Her Scars

21. July 2014 Marriage 0
Her Scars

25 Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25.)

Can you image loving your wife this way? Is it possible to “love our wives” as “Christ loved the church?” If it couldn’t be accomplished, why was it written, “Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church”?

The fact is, we haven’t practiced loving our wives this way. We are more concerned about ourselves and our needs rather than the needs of our wife. Remember the way we first loved them? No one could have separated us! But that day has simply faded away. We are more committed to lusting after other woman than a healthy romantic relationship with our wives.

We’ve spent hour upon hours searching for the perfect body in magazines, movies, internet and anywhere else we can find them. What about our wife’s body? I have four kids and my wife’s body has been knocked out of whack a little bit. I must admit, it isn’t the “nice” body it once was. But isn’t there more to a relationship than a body? What if something happened to you and your wife wasn’t attracted to you anymore? What if you had to carry the children in your body for nine-months while your wife looked at men who were in better shape than you?

We forgot what they went through and the commitment they gave. The pain they had to endure. The marks they have on their bodies as a result of what we helped create. When she undresses we look at those marks as if she isn’t as beautiful as before.

I told my wife that I loved her stretch marks and was thankful for what she had to go through. In our 17 year marriage I don’t think I ever conveyed that to her, at least not in a way that was from the heart. As I told her, she looked at me (with a smile of disbelief) not thinking I was serious. She thought her body was “out of tune” for me. Could I blame her? Most of her feelings about her body have come directly from my lack of interest of her body, and to much interest in other bodies that haven’t been altered by children.

So there we stood, face to face, I began to reiterate my feelings for her. I simply repeated what I had said. This time however, I explained in more detail how I felt. How I thought of the pain, the scars and marks on her body. I told her they were the “price she paid” for the “gift she gave”. Even more, is the similarity between what our wives gave and what Jesus Christ gave. He bore the pain, he wears the scars and bears the marks on his body. The “price he paid” for the “gift he gave!” Isn’t it about time we appreciated their bodies?

Jesus: Had to endure the pain and bears the marks on his body (Isaiah 53:5; Psalm 22:16; 1 Peter 2:24)

Your wife: Had to endure the pain and bears the marks on her body

Jesus: Proudly displays his marks for us as “proof of purchase”, the “price he paid” for the “gift (eternal life) he gave”

Your wife: Should be proud of her marks, the “price she paid” for the “gift (human life) she gave”

Author: Erick Hurt

​From a slave to sin–to freedom in Christ (Galatians 5:1). From an abusive husband verbally and physically–to loving my wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Now an Elder at Family Bible Church, I speak, teach, and preach with the same passion I once had for sin. I work as a volunteer for Setting Captives Free ministry as a mentor and mentor coordinator helping people become freed from the grip of sin. Visit www.settingcaptivesfree.com.


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